This is not the life I mapped out...but it's good!!!!

This little girl is my sanity as young as she is, she knows this very well! Yesterday I was venting to one of my best friends and what does this cheeky little monkey do? She covers my mouth and says....shhhh! Can you believe it??? My kid told me to hush!!! Sadly, she was right. Even though I was just venting and needing to talk to someone about what has been bothering me, she knew there was a point that I needed to stop. This kid gets me even when I don't get myself LOL!!!!

I don't think, we as parents, give enough credit where credit is due when it comes to our children. They may not be able to express exactly what they really mean but what they are try to convey seems to come across quite loud and clear! 

Our children hear what we say, even when we don't want them to hear; they see what is in front of them and they feel what we feel even as we try to protect them. Many times in life we have a game plan and 9 times out of 10 it gets blown through the water. Or maybe that's just my luck LOL So we as parents just pick ourselves up, dust off and come up with a new game plan to keep going forward. I've learned that with kids, there is no time to stop, complain, get mad, stomp around and not deal with it. You have to keep going forward no matter what! All of us as parents have a plan, or some idea of what we are trying to accomplish, set out in front of us. For most, it works the way we want. For others, not so much and that is where you have to kick it up a notch and chug even harder forward. You can't stop, it's not an option.

One of the things that I have learned from having my daughter is that there is never, ever a guarantee that life will be okay. It will be a ton of ups and downs, sideways and twists and turns. I thought I was emotional enough on my own, but you add someone that looks to me as if the sun rises and sets in me and that's a lot of damn pressure that I really wasn't prepared for. But I have no choice, I have to be prepared and try not to let her down. Now here is the the really crappy time for parents. Feeling as if you let your kid(s) down because of life changing all the time. I have learned, even before I had mine, that kids are resilient. More resilient than we give them credit for. Just because they haven't reached all of life's lessons at the time they start teaching us lessons, does not mean we shouldn't take direction from them. We never want our kids to suffer for anything but sometimes you have to take a step back, regroup, refocus and move forward. The key here is keep moving forward and never stop. They depend on us!!

When life throws whatever proverbial fruit in your direction, remember.....don't duck! Catch the fruit, get your kid(s), talk about the changes that are happening and make some fruit juice!!!! And maybe add a touch of tolerant liquid just to make it a tad smoother for you!!!

Growing up so fast.....SLOW DOWN!!!!!

How did this happen so quickly to me??? One minute I'm minding my own business...well....sort of....and the next BAM!!!!!! My life gets turned upside down and inside out!!! It's amazing what a little person can do!

You. You were such an amazing surprise and truly a blessing to me. Not only did you fill my heart and life with so much, but you have just spread the love and happiness you have to anyone you meet. You were so tiny and squeaky and you terrified me to no end! I have placed the panic calls to those where were available to calm me down and reassure me that I wouldn't hurt or break you and that the crying, from both of us, is normal. But then this happened....

You started growing up too much right before our eyes!!! My little bug you have become such a delight to have around and to be around, despite your moments of cranky-pants! Who couldn't love you as much as I do? Those eyes of yours have such stories to tell. You my pukin pie have such an old soul to you. I know you would get so irritated with me when I would constantly kiss on you, squeeze you and just love on you to no end! But how can I not? You are just so delicious!!!!! Which brings us to this.......

Look at you know!!! My growing little girl!!! I can't believe how much personality you have and how much you are just like me and how much that just drives me nuts!!!!! You are truly my heart, I still can't believe that I'm your mommy!!! I love you my precious little turkey face, my little pumpkin pie!!! I couldn't be more proud of you and I am such a lucky mommy to have you in my life!!! 

I love you to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond!!!!

Do Not Fault on the Training!!!

It has reached that time in your sweet little life.....the time to become a big girl and use the potty!!!  YAY!!!! No more diapers, no more soggy hiney, no more crinkly sounds when you walk or run!!  Soon we'll be able to buy those cute little character panties that you keep pointing at when we are in the store!!  Oh that will be such a happy day for mommy!!!!!!  The money that I will save alone will help out tremendously as you continue to grow and grow.  I'll be able to get you a lot of the outfits and jammies that you want and that I would love to see you in.  It will be  a great time in our lives!!!

Little did I know that you seem to like peeing in your diaper and now the traded off pull-ups.  Not what I was hoping.  You always followed me or whomever to the bathroom like it was the great excursion!!  Didn't need to be watched, I can potty all by myself.  I know it's an amazing feat but it's one that you my dear need to grasp.  And rather sooner than later.  So by the advice of previous potty trainers we have begun with the whole "let me know when you have to go", which you never do and the "timing of the potty" which you don't like and feel rushed.  This whole section of toddler life is a bit trying for the mommy.

I know I need to be patient but I love it when you get excited because you actually pee peed in the potty and then I get excited and we high five and everyone is excited!!!!!  Yes your mom is very cheesy!  Just you wait until you get older, you are in for a very rude and extremely cheesy awakening ;)

Here's to the next few months of training.  Wish us luck!!!!

I know that I lose my temper with you....A LOT! It's not that I am angry with you, it's just that I really have not a clue as to what I am doing. I know that you are still very little and still learning, as I am still learning to not be so harsh and demanding. I am having the hardest time doing this with so little direction or  help. Granted, your aunts and uncles are fantastic but as you will learn from me, I hate to have someone do what I need to do. Your grandmother always said to me that you are to do for yourself and never ask for help unless you are truly unable to help yourself. I struggle with this every day little one, to find that balance to help you be the best that you can be and to not be so harsh in raising you. 

I know that the past few weeks have been like a roller coaster for  you. Some days are really good and there are those bad days that we wished would hurry up and go away. I honestly can't thank you enough for being the amazing little girl that you are. I am truly sorry for being so impatient and so demanding of you. I am even more appreciative of you just loving me regardless of mommy still learning how to be a mommy. I will try my best to be more patient, more understanding and less demanding.

Try not to hold it against me ;)

Don't like birthdays, but need to plan one :/

So here's something for you....how do you try to plan a birthday party, a 2nd birthday party, when you can't even stand your own???? I know strange but it's true, ask anyone. I hate celebrating my birthday!!! So how am I supposed to plan a birthday for my one and only? 

I planned a cute party last year and it was a horrible experience! It could have been time of day, time of year, stupid first year shots or just the fact that she didn't want a party. I really couldn't blame her. Anytime I've tried planning something for myself, it would go horribly wrong. Yes, friends have tried to put things together but it just seemed so forced for others to "show" that I would have rather nothing planned at all. 

So my love bug is turning 2. In two weeks. This is not a good thing for this mother. I have no idea what to do, where to have it and who to invite. This little girl gets pretty much what she needs throughout the year and of course her aunt over buys for her. I know she does it because she loves her, but too much LOL!!!

I know I'm going to get backlash for this blog as I have a ton of people who love to celebrate their birthday and even more if it's a kids party. I don't want to be a dud. I want her to always be excited it's her birthday, it's her special day!!!! Of course I want to celebrate the day she made my life more awesome than I can imagine, but I hate birthdays.

This is going to be interesting. 

Parent Rant!!! May upset you and I'm not sorry!!!

What is going on parents?? Especially my moms out there????  I am seeing way too much negativity and even more downing yourself as not only a person but a mother.  Who in the world is making you feel this way??  If it's society, you need to knock that crap off by not listening.  Society has absolutely no business making your decisions for you, about you, or around you.  Society is full of labels, misrepresentations and sadly, lies on what it is to be a person let alone being a mother.  

Your ex?  Unless you are "mother of the year", your ex will do and say whatever to make you feel bad.  That seems to be the text book case with so many.  Fortunately for me, I will never have that.  Sadly, my bug's father could really care less about her.  I say, thank you!!!  Thank you for giving me the ability to have the right people in her life and the right influences.  It saddens me to see so many of my friends having to go through so much just to try and keep a balance in life with work, household and kids.  Hell, I have one and I'm about to curl up in the fetal position and rock myself!!!  I can't imagine what having two or more is like and then on top of that you have to try and keep yourself sane.  Listen my dears, NEVER let anyone take your sparkle!!!  Ladies we need to keep our heads up and keep moving forward!

With that being said I am now going to anger some of you.  I don't care.  My opinion, my blog, my observations.  You don't like it, then don't read.  Plain and simple....

I am seeing too many of my friends and too many random posts on various sites where the mother is seriously questioning her ability of being a good parent.  This truly angers me to no end because most of you that are questioning your parenting skills are absolutely fantastic and honestly who I am going to for help.  If I felt that you are a crappy mom, do you think I would ask you for help with my kid???  Hells to the nah!!!

Another thing that just peeves me to no end, choosing one sibling over another.  You CANNOT do this!!!  By you choosing one of your children over another, you are creating such a disgusting existence between the two.  Your children will grow up with so much animosity not only towards each other, but they will definitely have a lot towards you.  Remember folks, your children are in charge of your care once you become elderly.  Revenge is a bitch!!!

Lastly and most importantly, the mother of all pet peeves for me.....and this involves both parents....using your child as a PAWN!!!!!  This is not Harry Potter where you play Wizards Chess, this is life and you  DO NOT TOY WITH ANOTHER PERSON'S LIFE!!!!!!!!!  What is wrong with you????  Are you that sick and demented that you feel that you need to use your child to get back at the other person?  You are messing with a life.  Plain and simple.  Oh and hey, guess what???  It's not YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!  Once you have a child, yes you get to rear them and guide them, however, it is essentially their life.  I'm sure a lot of you don't agree with me on this but it is true.  I'm going to have a hard time letting my little one have her own life just as my mother had to let me.  One thing about this method, I did learn to be independent and I appreciated my mother more for what she did.  She never left my side, she just encouraged me to make my decisions so that I could truly learn the value life and how anything I say, think or do does effect all around me.  What happened to this practice parents?  Are you so hellbent on anger and hate that you use and abuse that which looks to you for guidance?  

My heart truly goes out to those who are in this constant tug-of-war with either an ex or society or even worse, yourself.  Try to take a moment.  Step back, look at the situation.  Are you truly that bad?  No.  Do you need to be so hateful?  No.  Do you need to wreck everyone's life around you? No.  Just stop and think past your own nose and agenda. 

Never forget.....

This image will forever be etched into my memory and the memory of all Americans across our great land.  It will also be a memory to those around the world who witnessed our pain and even worse, those who caused our pain.  In this horrific moment, we as a country, cried out in terror and pain.  Not one person can look at this picture and not be taken back to that day 12 years ago.

I normally do not get political in my blogs but today is different.  This morning I woke up with my daughter smashed up against my back making her little snoring sound.  Like every morning, I make sure not to wake her and start getting myself together.  I always smile a little and leave the room.  This morning my heart felt heavy.  This day marked what seemed like the beginning of the end.  I started perusing Facebook and of course there were already tons of "Never forget...." and many pictures to remind us, not just of the day, but how precious this life is.  

Further looking in my news feed and I just started getting more sad, yet more grateful.  I have a huge amount of respect for the First Responders, the Police and any person that took it upon themselves to try and help out another. With no hesitation.  No judgement.  It truly was a day of absolute union.  It was beautiful and traumatic all at the same time. 

One day, on the anniversary of this day, I will need to set aside some time to explain to my daughter why this day is important to us.  To Americans.  I read in my news feed where a good friend of mine was explaining this day to her son.  It broke my heart to read that she cried.  She cried because she was watching her son think, mulling over the information and processing what he had just been told by his mother.  This little boy was trying to truly comprehend why would anyone just randomly do this.  My dear young man, we ask ourselves this question every day.  

As a person very proud of my country, even with our redheaded step-child ways, I want to ask any of you to do this favor going forward in your life.  Don't just take the time to be humbled and grateful for your family and your life today.  Make this a daily habit.  Don't go to bed angry, make up when fighting, hug a little tighter, kiss a little longer, capture a memory.  Never stop being grateful and never stop thanking those men and women who fight for us, protect us and care for us. 

There is never a guarantee in life.