Trying to hold it together...and feeling like a failure

I know that a lot of women suffer from depression or even postpartum. There are some women that suffer from postpartum for a lot longer than what some doctors have even recorded. 

I don't suffer from postpartum. I suffer from depression. It's not bi-polar; what everyone automatically assumes. It's a real disease. It cannot be cured. It can, however, be monitored and with the right treatment and medications, quite tolerable.  Now here is the tricky part....what are your diagnoses? See, you wouldn't think mine are severe and sometimes they really aren't. But when something triggers it, it's a mess. You would think that someone that suffers from depression would understand, but sadly, I have learned they do not. It's quite possibly that they have found a way to deal better or when something triggers it, they can recoup easily. Medication and a therapist is fantastic for that. If you have these two, you are clearly on the right track. For you. Not for someone else. It is great when you can talk to someone that suffers, but sometimes they basically want you to get over it like it's nothing.

For me, it's not that easy. Maybe it's because I'm too sensitive or too emotional. That's what people have told me, be it a partner or a friend. I'm just to get over whatever is bothering me and realize that things could get worse. Honestly, that is not what I need to hear nor want to hear. I know it could be worse. I've been in worse. It still does not make it easy to deal with nor does it make it right for you to say it. If it could be worse, then why would you say that to a person who is clearly under duress? When a person  is under a lot and their depression kicks in, the last thing you need to say and what we want to hear is that. 

I don't want any sympathy for this post. I am doing this for myself to get it out and to maybe show another that you are not alone. You feel that way you feel and you are entitled. Only you can control your emotions, granted with a little help sometimes, and you are allowed to take in what you want to take in. Not what someone tells you to do. I really hope that this post does help someone because it actually has helped me in getting it out.